I’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I’m wearing I will always be
India Arie’s 2001 hit “Video,” is the true embodiment of self love: embracing one’s identity, free from society’s expectations so that those same expectations, whether it be material items, the glorification of “ideal” bodies or the use of nail polish, become options, rather than the way one defines their sense of self.
It’s a self-love that should be at the core of every relationship, a love that indicates a certain level of confidence, belief and understanding of your personality and value as a person in this world. Unfortunately, however, this self love tends to be absent in some people. While lack of self love can sometimes be a result of experiences in your upbringing, other factors such as failed relationships, comparison to others, and even changes in your body can affect the way you think about yourself. In 2017, Congresswoman Maxine Waters encouraged us to “reclaim our time.” Well, let’s focus on reclaiming self love this year. Here’s how.
Have Some Me Time
One of the best ways to learn self-love is to have some me time. Allow yourself some time away from the company and influence of other people. Use this time not only to plan your future but also to reflect on the past and extract the lessons you’ve learned that may be applicable to life experiences.
Taking Yourself Out on Dates
Most people are accustomed to staying home alone, but the thought of making solo moves in public is considered taboo. For starters, it’s not. Going out and feeling comfortable itself eliminates the amount of value placed on what other people may think. It also allows you to set standards in how you expect to be treated and is a great way to meet new people.
Learn Something New
Knowledge is power, and it can be obtained in more ways than higher education. Information is all over…in conversation, television, and did we forget we live in the age of the Internet!? Being able to contribute to any conversation just makes you feel like a boss.
It’s important for you to think positively about yourself and your future. The best way is to instill affirmations. The way you would memorize the lines of a play is the way you should embed positive statements into your mentality. Believe in yourself. Talk your shit. Speak it into existence. Understand your value so much that no one who says otherwise will get to you.
Pick Up a Skill
This is similar to learning, but this time, is in reference to a practical skill. It increases your level of independence, gets people to seek your assistance which can be an ego booster and if you do it well, you can get paid for it.
Often times, what’s holding us back from progression is ourselves. We’re stuck being hard on ourselves for making certain mistakes, are hating someone for their wrongdoing, and are secretly waiting for an apology that may never come to give us closure. Let it go. Be the better person. Forgive. Resentment could hold you back from receiving God’s blessings.
Do Something You Love
We all have pastimes or interests that bring us joy. Always make time to indulge in these things to maintain sanity.
Taking care of your health is essential to feeling good. In the physical sense, exercise, eat right, apply face masks, shower and brush your teeth, practice your overall hygiene. In the menta sense, find an outlet to relieve stress. Pray or seek the help of a therapist (because we all need one).