Love is a word that I see people throwing around loosely these days. Just the other day, I overheard two young teenagers having a conversation. One was describing to her friend the fact that she had just met a guy, she was so attracted to him, she felt like he was doing her wrong and may have been talking to several other females but she couldn’t even think of leaving him because she loved him. When asked what it was she loved about him, she could only describe his physical characteristics. Then you have the prime example, of which I previously experienced, where a guy pursuing a female tells a girl she loves him in hopes that she will eventually let him into her pants. In either situation, the word love is being abused as people use it either consciously or subconsciously to help them express what it is they are really feeling: lust.
According to the Webster’s Dictionary, love is defined as a “feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. On the contrary, lust is “a strong feeling of sexual desire.” In this generation, when men and women meet one another and make the decision to start “dating,” it is often a minor feeling of lust (for some it’s stronger than others) that exists on either side of the party if not both. I say minor as there usually is a physical attraction between the two, but it may not have yet reached the point of wanting to have intercourse. Over time, this may either turn into full blown lust or transform into love.
Most men know the difference between when they’re feeling love or lust. That is why I usually appreciate a man who is honest from jump. If a man is on the pursuit of sex and that is his only intent, it would be nice to know. Then I can push him off to the curb and help both of us prevent from wasting our time. It’s better than me becoming emotionally involved in someone who is less than worth it and much better than him getting in his feelings when he pulled out all the tricks and still got rejected. Let’s both save our pride when we can. But no! Believe it or not, not every female is like me. There are some very willing to succumb to your sexual needs while they simultaneously satisfy theirs. While there are men who keep it a buck from the start, there are still others who prefer to use a method of manipulation. They play the role, take you on a couple dates here, make a couple of phone calls there, and don’t forget the “I miss yous,” “I was thinking about yous” and the “I love yous.” A female is more likely to give in when she feels loved or like she is the special girl in your life, the only girl in your world. Knowing this, they apply this knowledge as this would increase their chances of adding yet another girl to the list of females they’ve conquered.
From a female’s perspective of lust, thing are a bit different. Some women are just as conscious of their lusty side as men are. They could care less about what anyone else would think. They are very much in tune with their sexual desires, and because of this, are less likely to get manipulated. They think like a man in the sense that they set themselves out to get their needs fulfilled. The other set of females aren’t necessarily comfortable with expressing themselves as they fear slut shaming. Due to existing stereotypes, they fear coming to terms with the fact that their feelings towards a man is lust. They much rather be in committed relationships or convince themselves that they wholeheartedly love their significant other. It is this fantasy that men play off of. It is fear of others knowing the truth and judging them that leads to women being blinded to the fact that lust is really being disguised as love.
When it comes to love, there is no need for manipulation. Love embodies an all around connection with another individual. The affection for this person is felt not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Thoughts about your lover go beyond that of sex as you begin to wonder how it is they are doing, what it is they are doing, and when it is you can simply spend time with them once again. Eye to eye contact is made throughout conversation as opposed to eye to body part. The little things that once seemed irrelevant now matter and mean the most. It is a feeling that less people are ashamed of as everyone longs to love and be loved. It is a special feeling that makes one passionate and vulnerable. This is why I feel so strongly about it. People should avoid making a mockery of it and own their feelings. It helps in the prevention of pain due to an unnecessary investment of time and emotion.
Before you leave here today, take along with you these notes.
• Lust- physical attraction
• Love- emotional, physical, mental attraction
• One can lust without love, while one who loves most likely lusts.
• Lust can turn into love. Love can also turn into lust.